Creating without validation

The voice in my head is an a**hole

June wrap up

June was a family-focussed month for me. I spent much of it taking family members to and from appointments. I also managed to steal away for a week with my daughter. We headed for the beach, where we were blessed with gorgeous scenery and glorious weather.

Time away with my gorgeous girl is the best!

I had planned to dedicate some of my time away to writing a new story that has been knocking around in my brain, but once we'd arrived, I quickly realised that what I actually needed was a break. The computer remained closed and, instead, I spent the days walking, watching K-dramas (I've become quite addicted to these), cooking, and reading. I also did a lot of journaling and self-reflection.

After the highs of the past couple of years (awards, positive reviews, travel, festivals, and grants), this year been a bit of a let-down so far. I’ve not signed any new contracts (though I’ve had an offer), and I have no books coming out this year. I’ve been stuck in a rut and feeling left behind. I’d had so much success over the past couple of years - wasn’t it supposed to be easier now? Weren’t doors supposed to remain open to me? It feels embarrassingly shallow to say that, but I don’t think I’m the first person to have had these thoughts (particularly in an industry that seems to be changing rapidly).

Through my journaling and self-reflection journey, one thing became painfully clear: I’ve been using the validation of others to define my self-worth as an author.

Wanting external validation isn’t, in itself, a bad thing. I’d even argue that it’s a normal part of the human condition, and I think, for those of us who are creators, it’s also an important part of the creative process. Writing is a solitary activity. You spend months (or years!) with ideas and characters before sharing them with others. You write on blind faith, often with little confirmation that you’re even heading in the right direction. So when someone validates your work, (whether it be a publisher saying yes to your latest manuscript, receiving a favourable review, your book winning an award, or a child telling you they loved your story), it doesn’t just feel nice; it encourages you to keep writing.

The trouble is when you base all of your worth as a creative on the validation of others, it leaves you feeling lost when that validation disappears.

External validation is particularly intermittent in the publishing industry. You get the highs of the contract, validation throughout the editing process, and then the joy of celebrating a new book baby with your community. You may receive nice reviews or, if you’re lucky, a message from someone who enjoyed your story. But a month or two later, the primary marketing support and accolades are over, and the industry has moved on to the next wave of new releases. Then the search for validation begins again. If you don’t already have another book scheduled for release, you can be left in a funk.

One thing I’ve noticed is that the voice in my head becomes an a**hole when I don’t have a contract or a book coming out. It starts telling me that maybe I should give up. Maybe my time in the sun is done. What’s the point? it says. It’s because you’re just not that popular / talented / important.

So during my journaling sessions, I decided to use that powerful staple of every author’s toolbox: the ‘What if?’ questions.

What if the a**hole voice in my head is wrong?

What if my best work / my peak is still to come?

What if this is simply part of the growth phase as a creator, just like the ‘imposter’ phase or the ‘self-doubt’ phase?

Over the week, I came to two fundamental realisations:

1. If my motivation to write depends entirely on someone else’s approval, then the lack of validation has the power to stop me writing altogether.

2. Perhaps one of the challenges of a creative life is learning to hold faith during the times when external validation is not available.

Life is one big learning journey, isn’t it? I’m grateful when I have opportunities for growth, even though they may feel painful at the time. I’m also grateful that I have the capacity for self-reflection and change (if only the same could be said for some of our world leaders!). The best part, though, is that every experience gives me fuel for more stories.

That being said, I must sign off now…because I have some writing to do.

Tan x

Book highlight

The Keeper of the Octopus by Neridah McMullin (Walker Books, 2025)

This book has been on my list for some time as I’m a huge fan of Neridah McMullin’s previous book, Evie and Rhino. I hoped this story would have the same magical charm and I was not disappointed.

Since her father sailed away, Uncle Isaac is the only family Pippy has left. Together they spend their days fishing off the coast, until one day Pippy is knocked into the sea and rescued by a gentle, giant creature…

This story beautifully blends magic-realism and folklore with current-world concerns such as the impact of overfishing on our oceans. Pippy is grieving the loss of her mother and the abandonment of her father, whilst also protecting her great Uncle Isaac, who has become increasingly forgetful. When she discovers that she’s the next keeper of the octopus, Pippy is given the additional task of caring for a giant octopus called Octavia, who protects the local fisherman and maintains the marine ecosystem in the bays around Pippy’s village.

This story would be perfect for children aged 8+

July events

There are no public events scheduled for July, however booking have now opened for workshops that I’ll be presenting as part of the Once Upon a Festival program in October (bookings for author talks will be opening soon).

I have two workshops scheduled including an in-depth story arc workshop for students in grades 5 - 8 (in which students will come up with their own completed story arc), and a fun story creation workshop for students in grades 3 - 4 (in which students will learn the basics of simple story arcs and an easy hack for coming up with story ideas of their own).

The program and bookings can be found here: OUAF